explains to the lay reader the science of human attachment. Authors Levine and Heller reject the traditional therapy model that discourages dependency between individuals.
Instead, they argue that dependency is natural and unavoidable:“Numerous studies show that once we become attached to someone, the two of us form one physiological unit.
Because as much as feminism has helped women gain parity with men in the workplace and at home, there are still a lot of subtle but very real ways that women are required to police and monitor themselves.
Some women tell me they’d feel too insecure about their bodies to sleep with someone young, but when you operate on the criterion I do — that they have to be nice — you meet younger men who appreciate everything about older women.Attachment theory was spawned by the work of John Bowlby, who was the first psychologist to put forth the idea that underpins much of today’s psychotherapy: that a child’s intimacy and sense of security with his or her primary caregiver plays a crucial role in how secure that child will be as an adult.Over time, psychologists have further refined this idea to argue that early childhood attachment patterns predict adult attachment styles in romantic relationships later in life.A friend recently recounted how a male co-worker suggested she try going out for a run after work. Try couch-surfing, because staying at a stranger's house seems like an invitation for trouble. Instead, we scope out subway cars with other women already in them. Walk around late at night with headphones on and blasting music, because we're afraid attackers might come up behind us. Answer the door to unexpected visitors, just in case it's someone who got into the building randomly, who might be planning to attack.25.The Manhattan Bridge late at night, he said, was practically empty. And besides, it's cooler after the sun goes down — the perfect time to get in a run before bed. Let the cab driver/our date drop us off directly in front our buildings, because we don't want random guys to know where we live. Walk directly home, sometimes, if we're afraid someone is following us.